Stay on this spot

Stay on this spot - internally, not moving. As the Buddha did not move from underneath the Bodhi tree until he understood. I must be a Buddha - in a different form, a different name, Western and Eastern, Male and Female - through pleasure and order, through the thoughts of all the centers, and I must be a center - as I have taken on the group mind, the morphic field of Sheldrake. This is a bifurcation point - NOW, as there have been many and are many - to transform, to understand the essentials:

Navigation of Values
Equinimity
Transformation and Bifurcations
Wholeness
Life; Spanda, the vibration, indulgence
Consciousness

*The eternal values - Nature of Order, Christopher Alexander (Cinema, Novels, Architecture, Paintings, Music, ...)
*Equinimity - Synthesis of Yoga, Aurobindo; and Rudolf Steiner, Zen
*Transformation - all the spiritual technologies of awareness, concentration, meditation
*Wholeness - Bohm and many others
*Life - the spanda of Tantra and Kashmir Shaivism
*Consciousness - Western and Eastern; the Essential Self, the Unique Self
*Total Inward Composure - Aurobindo and Steiner
*Insert oneself into the cosmic harmony - faith, a guide, grace.
*Use the Dragon, Shakti, the hot sensual beauty - deep inside; to move all the chakras

I am not alone - any thought, any action, any consciousness; I do for the whole, for my group; more than me alone in this life alone; and entirely within life.

Many books, teachers, thinkers - converge upon the same.

Stay connected to what makes me resonate; Dakota Fanning, Requiem Mass, Hermann Hesse, Kelly, Tammy, Nikki, Athletic competition, using the value of Pi; these different initiations into the Spanda, the Vibration, the Life and Consciousness, building patterns of order and beauty.

"we plant a seed in the soul in the very action of conscientious scientific research. He who is a serious scientist in this sense has within himself the germ of imaginative, inspired and intuitive knowledge. He needs only to develop the germ." - Steiner

Siddharta was also such an experimentalist.

I want to be born higher, but at the same time, I don't want to leave any feelings behind, at least any feeling that has value; as low as it may seem to others - spiritual or otherwise. And I don't want to leave any insect behind, any animal behind, and sentient being behind; this is somewhat a problem as the nature of order and beauty is to carve out the essential and let the shavings fall to the floor. What of these shavings - what happens to them? Maybe into a fire, the trash heap - and seperated from the beautiful carving of a shapely woman. How can I leave these behind, without knowing that they too will also be part of the beauty, the order in the same way. This is my soul mood - to respect all, but avoiding to get bound in some way, preserving a basic freedom, as truth and beauty, as boundless pleasure and bliss have degrees of freedom. And so I also embrace Lucifer; and try to see evil and good; but is this the way out? If I am water and I embrace the fire, what will become of me - a steamy vapor; but can I be of help that way? Control myself? What of bliss, what of sweet indulgence? What am I tranforming to - what pleasure will be left?

Order and Artistry

As I have thought - there is a value in art; in novels, paintings, architecture, music, cinema. This seems as important to me as religion, or even worship of god. For divinity is in these arts, and in the passion that is in seekers - artists, philosophers, scientists, evolutionaries, occultists. Aurthors that also have a feeling for evolution, spirit, and these artistic values of the soul are Gebser(Ever-Present Origin), Christopher Alexander (Patter Language, Nature of Order), and William Irwin Thompson (Coming into Being). And so my path should orient around these - and for order there is Aurobindo(Live Divine), and Rudulf Steiner(Knowing Higher Worlds). Where is this transformation - I think it is in order and artistry. But there seems to always be a problem, in that there are pleasures that seem to blank out the soul for a time - and yet these seem to also be a fuel for the life - so how to be One, and Participate.

Ego Inadequacy

I am working in several areas. One is by using the Diamond Approach [book/The Pearl Beyond Price]. This seems to be one of the most concrete psychological approaches that I have found. I am at the chapters which discuss Ego Inadequecy and how to resolve it. When we work through the merging vs indepence step in development, we will reach a place where our growth will hit a wall of inadequecy. It must happen to everyone who truly tries to develop and evolve themselves. The negative ways to handle this are to either merge back to some kind of feminine substitute - or perhaps a father substitute for women, or to cover up feelings of inadequacy by having a grandios trummped up ego. I think I have, more often than not, struggled with this phase called rapprochement and merged. I am now reaching a bifurcation where this is wearing thin and so I am trying to deal with this ego inadequacy directly. It takes some courage to do so, but there is a point where it has to be done. I will read on, and work on - and maybe get some help where I can - to go further, which is required for me to reach the authentic stage. I see it happening at work, taking on more responsibilities, learning, being creative - and also with social network such as Facebook.

In other areas, I am using the BodyScan/Mindfulness/Meditation/Yoga appoach as a centering of my self, and also to manage the headache pain. In conjunction with this is the FIT (focused intensity training) of the "Strength for Life" program.

A mental jazz - that rides the river of memoirs, thoughts, and ideals of the human drama. As William Irwin Thompson - who put Wilber in his place, abstraction built upon abstraction with his reserved for the top. This will not do - for reality is dynamic and nature does not rest - we go from light to light, dark to light, light to dark, and dark to dark in our search. Then there is something that is called love, for a dog or mother, a so called lover - that seems to illuminate; is this the weak support and hope Rilke is talking about in the Elegies? I pursue the integral, because I must to be whole - for why should I want to forego the soul, the Buddhist privilege in being human? But I can't repress the body, asceticism is economical it seems; but does not settle well. As Freud would say - expand the ego to include the super-ego and the id. I certainly have explored the depth of the id, as revealed in a dream of a deep pit in the supermarket parking lot - but in doing so, it makes walking difficult and also in providing for basic needs like food. So, some of the id has been brought to the ego, and also the spiritual quest I felt in reading and following Bonheoffer’s "Cost of Discipleship", then pursuing the radical idea of equal care and love for all. But at that time, all was only a group of "believers" that did not include all sentient beings, and had no sensibilities for beauty or the wider truth that is. The ideal has remained, which is also linked with the unique personality of the Stoics, the civil liberties of the French and American revolution - and the Aurobindo quest for the psychic being - but its unclear as to how individual is that psychic being

Second Face of God

There seems to be an entelechy within myself to explore possibilities and to experience pleasures of my own liking and taste. I believe that everyone should engage in this because everyone is unique at their deepest level. At the level where Self merges into Spirit. This can be viewed as narcissistic, but I believe that it is necessary and essential to evolutionary growth and development. At the same time, it is not a final practice to continuously explore new possibilities and to deepen pleasures. As we are all united as one in some way, I am part of a holarchy and need to understand and participate with the others that are around me. This need to submit to higher evolutionary stages and others is recognized by Andrew Cohen and Ken Wilber in the latest issue of EnlightenNext, as the Second Face of God. I think that what they say is overstated and too simple or at the gross level as apposed to the subtle level. It is true that we need to submit to something that can lead us along and connect us to others, but by simply following a guru and those that are perceived as more highly developed is going to suppress our individuality if not done with the proper multi-perspectives and supra-high sensitivity to individual differences. We have to get past the gross level of guru and "God" worship and move to subtle and very subtle ways that can at the same time preserve the individual path, the mysteries of the universe, and the need to combine with others in higher holarchies. The entire purpose will be defeated with everyone submitting to a few gurus that will become puffed up with ego and cause stagnation because everyone will be suppressing the enlightened and individual parts of themselves for the mass ego that is following a couple worshipped leaders. I think a better approach is to start with love type relations - from pets, to children, partners, parents, and work from there - as far as deepening and having a more humble relationship to other. And to bow to the achievements of all others, in whatever form – gaining from them however one can – and not bow to one or two leaders. I want to bow to something, but not sure what. I don't think it should be a “God” (out there), but more of an internal force, internal master, internal dakini, or internal guide. The Tibetans have practices such as these, but they are too embedded in another culture and with too much restrictions and requirements. More to explore here, but having said this - I have listed a set of possibilities and pleasures for myself. Thirty-five higher possibilities so far. These are things I would like to do if I had no boundaries or constraints. Sometimes our boundaries and constraints are imaginary or easily knocked down and so this listing , I think can be worthwhile. What better than to do something that will inspire us. Only then could we be at our best and most worthwhile for the evolutionary whole of the universe and beyond. Some include:

- visiting my distant home town to gain perspective
- take a vacation to a place I really like
- write a book and get more involved in the integral community
- become a psychotherapist
- join a drumming group
- psychotropic drugs
- body therapy
- spiritual retreats
- engage in various erotic fantasies
- get more involved with online technologies
- become a volunteer or work a suicide hotline
- change my marital status
- change my look and style

, to name a few of them.

I think that exploring bliss is also a worthwhile pursuit and should be done at all levels or chakra levels. I will discuss more on that in a later post. So, does this make me a pluralistic, green meme, post-modern, luciferian, hedonistic, narcissistic, post-modern, anti-authoritarian. I think so, but I think that it is important to have elements of that in our make-up.

2012 - What will happen? 1,218 days to go

There is 1,218 days before December 21, 2012 - the day that something significant will happen.

Books

The Mystery of 2012 - Predictions, Prophesies, and Possibilities (Published by Sounds True), 2007

2012, The Return of Quetzalcoatl, Daniel Pinchbeck

There are many ideas about what will happen on the Winter Solstice in 2012 described in The Mystery of 2012. They include:

* The end of a Mayan calendar cycle and a choice to evolve or regress.
* The end of the Mayan Great Cycle also marks a rare alignment of our planet, our solar system, and the center of our galaxy which will not occur again for 26,000 years.
* The reversal of the Earth's polarity which has happened 171 times in the last 76 million years and is overdue for another change. This could affect our infrastructure and the human body which contains millions of magnetic particles. "These connect us with the Earth and have a powerful influence on our nervous system, our immune system, and our perceptions of space, time, dreams, and even reality itself."
* The next sunspot cycle has started on March 10, 2006 which may be 30-50% stronger
* An awakening to a higher consciousness
* A return of the Great Goddess
* A start of a new era indicated by the Bible code and the I Ching
* The return of Quetzalcoatl


Based on these significant events, let the theories begin - and they have in abundance. What is interesting to me is that it does seem to be a time for a singularity. a point in time when the rules change and something completely different happens. This also gives me a target date to try to get myself aligned and pointed in the right direction. To get all my multiple selves aligned around a central point of some kind. Not to suppress my sub-selves but to gently urge them in an evolutionary way. So - we have 1,218 days to go to prepare ourselves for our contribution to the singularity. Will we be one of those that help humanity make an evolutionary leap or will we want to regress and push the world toward some kind of apocalypse. Interestingly, there seems to be more apocalyptic movies than normal recently with the movie 2012 coming up. The previews do not look to well informed. I image some passing reference to the Mayan calendar and then a quick move into the standard "end of the world" re-run we have seen over and over. This 2012 event deserves more than that, it is a truly significant date with destiny. And I hope the movie delivers more than I expect based on the previews. It could be the dawn of a new age - an age beyond the information age, and the knowledge age to a new age called the wisdom age by some. Or according to the theories of the Integral philosophers, this could be a mass move from modern and pluralistic to integral as described by Gebser, from green to teal according to Wilber, 1st Tier to 2nd Tier, into the Authentic and Transpersonal stages of Jenny Wade. Just to name a few.

I plan to post more on Daniel Pinchbeck's book, a book that I thoroughly enjoyed. Daniel has the ideal job of travelling the world as a journalist. He received some kind of Quetzalcoatl transmission which he describes in the book after taking a holotropic drug. What has remained with me of the book, without going back to review the book yet - is that something significant will happen around December 21, 2012 and the transition is in the process now. We can see it by the collapse of the economic system and the general transition feeling that we have now - where the US has gone from extremes of narrow mindedness to a more progressive stance. The change is happening now. I also think that some of the dualities will come together such as female and male. The feminine is coming back with a vengeance which is necessary to bring the world back into balance. This will balance out in Quetzalcoatl who is an androgynous figure like Hermes or that Indian god who is a complete mix of male and female. It may even bring on the complete synopsis (how all the parts are related) or the complete synthesis (a coherent set of concepts and principles). So get ready - 1,218 days to go.

Integral Books

These are some of the Integral Books I have read lately. I will add others as I remember them.

Changes of Mind, Jenny Wade
The Radiance of Being, Allan Combs
The Synthesis of Yoga, Sri Aurobindo
Integral Consciousness, Steve McIntosh
Religion and Nothingness, Keiji Nishitani
Revisioning Transpersonal Theory, Jorge N. Ferrer
The Phenonemon of Man, Teilhard de Chardin
Stages of Faith, James W. Fowler
What Really Matters, Tony Schwartz
Creative Transformation, John David Garcia
2012 - The Return of Quetzalcoatl, Daniel Pinchbeck
Integral Spirituality, Ken Wilber

I will comment on these as I go. Currently reading:

The Future of the Body, Michael Murphy
Psychosynthesis, Robert Assagioli
The Presence of the Past, Rupert Sheldrake