Stay on this spot

Stay on this spot - internally, not moving. As the Buddha did not move from underneath the Bodhi tree until he understood. I must be a Buddha - in a different form, a different name, Western and Eastern, Male and Female - through pleasure and order, through the thoughts of all the centers, and I must be a center - as I have taken on the group mind, the morphic field of Sheldrake. This is a bifurcation point - NOW, as there have been many and are many - to transform, to understand the essentials:

Navigation of Values
Equinimity
Transformation and Bifurcations
Wholeness
Life; Spanda, the vibration, indulgence
Consciousness

*The eternal values - Nature of Order, Christopher Alexander (Cinema, Novels, Architecture, Paintings, Music, ...)
*Equinimity - Synthesis of Yoga, Aurobindo; and Rudolf Steiner, Zen
*Transformation - all the spiritual technologies of awareness, concentration, meditation
*Wholeness - Bohm and many others
*Life - the spanda of Tantra and Kashmir Shaivism
*Consciousness - Western and Eastern; the Essential Self, the Unique Self
*Total Inward Composure - Aurobindo and Steiner
*Insert oneself into the cosmic harmony - faith, a guide, grace.
*Use the Dragon, Shakti, the hot sensual beauty - deep inside; to move all the chakras

I am not alone - any thought, any action, any consciousness; I do for the whole, for my group; more than me alone in this life alone; and entirely within life.

Many books, teachers, thinkers - converge upon the same.

Stay connected to what makes me resonate; Dakota Fanning, Requiem Mass, Hermann Hesse, Kelly, Tammy, Nikki, Athletic competition, using the value of Pi; these different initiations into the Spanda, the Vibration, the Life and Consciousness, building patterns of order and beauty.

"we plant a seed in the soul in the very action of conscientious scientific research. He who is a serious scientist in this sense has within himself the germ of imaginative, inspired and intuitive knowledge. He needs only to develop the germ." - Steiner

Siddharta was also such an experimentalist.

I want to be born higher, but at the same time, I don't want to leave any feelings behind, at least any feeling that has value; as low as it may seem to others - spiritual or otherwise. And I don't want to leave any insect behind, any animal behind, and sentient being behind; this is somewhat a problem as the nature of order and beauty is to carve out the essential and let the shavings fall to the floor. What of these shavings - what happens to them? Maybe into a fire, the trash heap - and seperated from the beautiful carving of a shapely woman. How can I leave these behind, without knowing that they too will also be part of the beauty, the order in the same way. This is my soul mood - to respect all, but avoiding to get bound in some way, preserving a basic freedom, as truth and beauty, as boundless pleasure and bliss have degrees of freedom. And so I also embrace Lucifer; and try to see evil and good; but is this the way out? If I am water and I embrace the fire, what will become of me - a steamy vapor; but can I be of help that way? Control myself? What of bliss, what of sweet indulgence? What am I tranforming to - what pleasure will be left?

Order and Artistry

As I have thought - there is a value in art; in novels, paintings, architecture, music, cinema. This seems as important to me as religion, or even worship of god. For divinity is in these arts, and in the passion that is in seekers - artists, philosophers, scientists, evolutionaries, occultists. Aurthors that also have a feeling for evolution, spirit, and these artistic values of the soul are Gebser(Ever-Present Origin), Christopher Alexander (Patter Language, Nature of Order), and William Irwin Thompson (Coming into Being). And so my path should orient around these - and for order there is Aurobindo(Live Divine), and Rudulf Steiner(Knowing Higher Worlds). Where is this transformation - I think it is in order and artistry. But there seems to always be a problem, in that there are pleasures that seem to blank out the soul for a time - and yet these seem to also be a fuel for the life - so how to be One, and Participate.